Transgender Education Collaboration

by: Tedi R. Parsons

As an ally I am constantly trying to educate myself about the Trans world and thought it would be interesting to see how others define what Trans means. I found this definition on Wikipedia.com: Trans may be used as a term encompassing a range of transsexual and transgender identities. Not a very compelling description of what Trans really means or is. Here is another one, as found on the Revel and Riot website: Transgender – An umbrella term for people whose gender identity, expression or behavior is different from those typically associated with their assigned sex at birth, including but not limited to transsexuals, cross-dressers, androgynous people, genderqueers, and gender non-conforming people. Transgender is a broad term and is good for non-transgender people to use. “Trans” is shorthand for “transgender.”

Ok, I have to admit, that last terminology for Trans is a little confusing to me and sounds very clinical. First, the idea that Trans people fall under an ‘umbrella term’ is insulting, as it is saying that there is really no classification for my Trans friends, so we are going to just generalize their existence. I also do not like the line “whose gender identity, expression or behavior is different from those typically associated with their assigned sex at birth”, A) what is assigned sex anyways? It sounds like someone is counting off every 11th baby and marking down ‘Trans’ on their chart and B) why would do we need to consider a Trans person ‘different’ from anyone else? Why not remove all the assigned labels and just accept them as they are when coming into this world (beautiful and unique in their own way). I am not trying to word smith here, but if we do not start changing the way we define one another, the road to a world free of assigned titles, classifications and judgment will be a long one.

All these terms and labels drive me insane. When will we stop putting everyone in boxes and start accepting one another simply as we are? I envision this new world where we do not recognize someone’s color, their sexual orientation and there are no titles, but instead we all represent one race, the human race. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could begin today by no longer using titles to describe one another? Ok, who is up for this challenge? I am no longer ‘gay’, instead I am Tedi, a lover of all and a hater of titles. Lookout Superman, I see a new superhero coming. Hmmm, I am not so sure I would look good in tights, but even superheroes’ have to take one for the team.

Until next time friends…

by: Tedi R. Parsons

When M was pushing me to get this blog entry done and in on-time, which is something I am not very good at, I was thinking about how important these messages really are, and if one person can be affected by this blog, then we have done our job.  That is what is so special about the Transgender Education Collaboration; we serve the Trans community and its allies through education and some pretty amazing collaborations. 

Today, my message is not for our Trans friends, as they ‘get it’ and it is like preaching to the choir. Instead, my hope is to reach those who have not taken the time to step-out of their black and white box and connect with or get to know a Trans person.   What I find interesting is the fact that people do not realize, like all of us, Transpeople want the same thing, to be loved and respected.  This is not something they should have to ask for, this should be a natural born right. I can honestly say that I have yet to meet a Trans person I didn’t like.Oh, I am sure there is a Trans person or two who would gladly tell me to shove my message somewhere deep and dark, but I would still be loving on them. 

The more I get closer with my Trans friends, the more I see some amazing, real and kick-ass people.  I truly believe that Trans people learn to develop a hardened shell to repel all the hate and discrimination, but amazingly enough never stop giving back love and peace, even through all the pain.  They know what it means to hurt and because it is sometimes dark in their world, they know how lonely it can be and do not want that for anyone else.  That is why there is so much love and support in the Trans community.  Sure, there are the typical catfights and minor differences, but Trans people all want the samething: TO BE LOVED!   After all, isn’t that what we all want and deserve? 

Today my friends, I ask you to accept this assignment: If you know a Trans person, give them a great big hug and say “I love you and you are beautiful to me.” If you don’t know a Trans person, contact us, as we have some amazing friends who would love to receive your hugs.   Also, I have taken it upon myself to proclaim that Thursday, March 22, 2012 is National Hug Your Trans Friends Day.  Hmmm, would I able to help Trans people get the day off of work or get some type of special treatment, maybe a reserved parking spot?  Maybe not, but a hug and kind words will do just fine!

Until next time friends…

by: Tedi R. Parsons

AsI began this exciting journey of discovering more about my Trans friends and the sometimes secret world they inhabit, by no fault of their own, I learned that there were certain words that belong to those who are or are perceived to be Trans.  Here are a few of the new words I have learned and added to my everyday vocabulary:

Ally: That is who I am! This is a person who seeks to support, encourage, and advocate for the transgender, gender variant, and intersex community.

Cisgendered: Most of society is cisgendered, meaning that their biological sex and gender identity are in alignment with that society expects.

Intersex:   This is someone whose biological sex in some manner falls outside of the perceived male or female categories.

Truthfully, I had never heard of the words Cisgendered and Intersex before meeting M and being introduced to the Trans world.  One struggle I still have is when it is appropriate to use ‘he’ vs. ‘she’ vs. ‘him’vs. ‘her’.  Sometimes this can be frustrating, because at times in the gay community we use a feminine title to address one another.  For example we may say: “Did you see what Jim was wearing last night, she was a hot mess.”  We are well aware that Jim is not female or perceived to be female, but we used the word ‘she’ when describing him [Jim].  I personally have made a strong effort to be more conscious about the pronouns I use when addressing both Trans and non-Trans persons, as this can be very demoralizing for someone who is trying to establish their identity and is not getting recognized for the way they truly feel inside.  I conferred with my friend M and she said it was ok to ask a Trans person what pronoun they prefer you use when addressing them, but to do this in a very respectful manner and in a private one-on-one conversation.   As, I said before friends, this is all about continuing our education of the Trans community.

To begin your education, you need to understand what it means to be an ally and what the terminology of the Trans world is. A great way to learn this is to visit the Transgender Education Collaboration website at: www.trans-edu.com and click on the Resources page where you will find a document entitled: How Can I be an Ally, this is an awesome resource for those who are new to the Trans world and want to be a strong ally and supporter.  A strong ally always knows his or her terminology, and in order to do this, you must read the Transgender 101 document found on the Resources page of the website.  Another way you can show your support is to click on the Members tab and become a supporting partner of the Transgender Education Collaboration.  Also, find us on Facebook and click ‘Like’ and share with your friends and family.  Together, we can educate ourselves and others while showing our support for our friends in the Trans world. 

Until next time friends…

Next: Trans Allies: Have youhugged a Trans person today?

 Living in a Trans World: Through the Eyes of an Ally - Part III

By: Tedi R. Parsons

When I first met my good friend M Kelley, I had no idea she was Trans. My first thought was this person had a very androgynous look and was perhaps channeling some Boy George. I learned through a mutual friend that M was indeed Trans and attended a conservative Christian college here in West Michigan. I thought “WOW, what an interesting person.” and I wanted to learn more about the story behind this incredible person.

As M and I began attending more meetings together through the work of Gays in Faith Together (GIFT), she started sharing her story and I was becoming more and more intrigued with the world of Trans people, a world I knew little to nothing about. I learned that Trans people’s coming out is not like that of a gay man or woman, it requires much more than telling friends, family and coworkers you are gay, it means revealing a very intimate part of yourself, one that could have detrimental consequences. Though the LGBTQ equality movement has moved forward, many Trans people still live in a secret world, one of loneliness, depression, drugs and alcohol and sometimes suicide. As a strong advocate of social justice, I knew that I had to get involved and learn more.

As I began to educate myself about the Trans community here in West Michigan, I soon learned here are many different layers and one has to understand the terminology and use the correct pronouns (this continues to be a challenge for me). I discovered there is a difference between a pre-op Trans person, versus a cross dresser, versus a MTF (male to female) or FTM (female to male) and those of us who are Cisgendered. A great way for all non-trans persons to learn the terminology is to refer to the Transgender 101 document under the Resources tab on the TEC website (www.trans-edu.com). I continue to receive a great education from my many Trans friends and also from being a part of the Transgender Education Collaboration. I encourage you to take the time and educate yourself about the Trans world. You will find that most Trans persons are loving, caring, nonjudgmental, and are looking for their place in the world. I think we all need to wear t-shirts that boldly states: ‘Have you hugged a Trans person today?’ I can guarantee you this would get some interesting conversation going. And who knows, maybe bring a lot of allies out of the closet.

Until next time friends…

Next: Trans Allies: What can you do?

Living in a Trans World: Through the Eyes of an Ally - Part II